| im okay |
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| 09:11am 12/10/2006 |
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mood: peaceful music: nothing
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After school yesterday, me and larry got into a HORRIBLE argument.. but thankfully we apoligized to one another before i went into work and he made me feel better. WOrk was sorta short yeseterday. larry had a meeting at work around 530 and i got outta work at 6. I went home took a shower, waited on larry. He got back around 7.. We rolled 2 B's, went n picked up bickham, met ryan l. at full circle, followed him to his house and got my research paper packet for senior english cause i hadda do souce cards last night. We went to Taco Bell and ate and a friggin COP pulled up right behind us in DRIVE-THRU. larry was FREAKING out. we had jus got thru smoking a blunt and it was NOT a funny situation. we got out food and larry eased on outta there. we hit the back roads and hauled ass outta there lol i fell asleep watching family guy last night and larry took bickham home by himself. i love him. today larry has a meeting at work at 6... practice at 7.. and he wont be home till about 930. i get off of work at 6. i might go home, take a shower, lay down, take a 2 hour nap and go to prac around 830. we'll see jus how tired i feel. the good news is i am off of work SAT AND SUN!!! |
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| quiz |
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| 08:28am 11/10/2006 |
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mood: apathetic music: nothing
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tired and not looking forward to work. no band practice tonite. me and larry are doing better. |
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| days go by.. |
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| 01:06pm 10/10/2006 |
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mood: sleepy music: Journey:Street Lights
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Larry and I have been arguing BAD the past few nights.. we have argued over the stupidest shit. I really do not know what has caused all the arguments but I just want it to stop and so does he. I thought it was all suppose to stop after our argument not last night but the night before.. but it has only gotten worse and not ceased. He makes me SO angry. This warm cover comes over me and the first thing that I wannt do is get away from him. He upsets me so bad. He can only "PICK AND CHOOSE" times when he wants too and I think that that is a bunch of BULL-SHIT! If I can wake up at 2 in the morn and go to his room and still want too and can then why the hell cant he? I really do not understand it. Am I not pretty enough? I feel like shit when he does that to me and I literally cannot take the rejection. It is one THING that will make me go CRAZY. last night he told me that this is the worst thing that has ever happened to him.. i told him I was leaving in the morning and he said "RIDE OUT". how am i suppose to WANT to stay after he says shit like that to me. I want to leave everytime he says something like that to me. I want to be happy with him, i REALLY REALLY do but it just seems like its never going to work, and I am seriously starting to lost hope. I love him so much and he can see me as his wife, and I can see him as my husband but NOT WHEN WE ARGUE. I just do not kno wat to do. I kinda wanna go back home. I am going to talk to my mom today if he doesnt apologize or something about wat he said to me last night. And when we argue.. we FIGHT. i always PUSH him and kick, because he always tries to make me stay by grabbing me and literally throwing me back onto the bed. he gets on top of me and wont let me move, and screams at me. he gets in my face and wont get off of me, so i say larry get OFF of me and he wont so i start kicking him off and pushing him off. Last night I really thought he was going to hit me. he hasnt hit me .... yet. and i DONT KNOW what I WILL DO IF HE EVER DID. I am scared. he has thrown me into a door ( i have scars on my side of my thigh) and he has thrown me around in his room, thrown me ag the wall once.. i get bruises.. i have bruises on my side from when he throw me ag the wall the other night. my arms are sore from using strength to get him OFF of me. my legs are sore from kicking. I have 2 fingerprint bruises on the front of my thighs and last night when he started trying to throw me down on the bed i grabbed him by his hair and started pulling so hard that i was going to rip his hair out. I told him that he better stop and IF HE LEAVES ONE MORE BRUISE ON ME, I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD.. He got so mad last night, he balled up his fist and was coming close and didnt hit me, i could see the anger in his eyes. i thought he was going to really hit me. he says that hes scared that hes going to hurt me one day, and i said DONT FUCKING THREATEN ME BY SAYING U WILL HURT ME ONE DAY. YOU DO NOT SCARE ME! I WILL FUCKING LEAVE U IN A SECOND IF U EVER HIT ME LARRY.
I dont know what to do anymore.. im getting tired.. very very tired.
-shell |
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| Sept 25 |
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| 08:25am 25/09/2006 |
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mood: dorky music: diary of jane
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seems like jus yesterday i started a livejournal. wow its been like 4 years that i have dedicated myself to this and wrote about times in my life when i was HAPPY, SCARED, LONELY, SAD and it'll never go away!
anywho.. this weekend was alright.. fri me larry james bick and my little brother went and saw jackass2. it was so funny! We had fun. we ate chik-fil-a! i love chik-fil-a!!! its my fav. and my baby knows it ;] saturday larry hadda work ;[ it sucked soooooo bad. sat night james went to CPR fest and Bickham went to johannas and brians wedding. the fri night giglos was playing but me and lar didnt feel like going. We went to his grandparents house cause he hadda fix his grandpas thermostat. He FINALLY fixed it after 2 hours of sitting there and completing 6 crossword puzzles. We went back to the house and watched the Boondocks and of course a little hanky panky haha. i DO love his SO MUCH though. wow.. this morning i kept waking up right there with him.. it means so much to me when he holds me in the mornings. its such the sweetest time. i kept rubbing his hair and head bc he said he hadda headache. i told him id get up and get him some ibuprofin but he didnt want me to get up. hes so sweet <3 and i cant picture myself without him. i love him so much.
Sunday i hadda work and that sucked.. i was suppose to work from 8 till 4 but tamisha called me at like 630 sun morning and needed me to come in earlier.. i told her i would come in an hour earlier if she let me off an hour earlier and she agreed. i would rahter work ANYTHING than stay there till 4! i hate that shit.. but i gtg. coach mac talking bout opening our books to lesson 54 or some shit. |
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| 1st block |
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| 09:26am 30/08/2006 |
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well hi! i am in 1st block and to tell you the truth, school isnt that bad this year. Im a SENIOR!! FINALLY!! and I live with my boyfriend, Larry. I get to leave at 11:20 everyday and I only have 2 classes. Its a breeze.. As for Larry and I. We are doing QUITE well. We;ve fallen in love and we are enjoying eachothers company very much. One of my FAVORITE part of our relationship is falling to sleep together and waking up with him by my side. its PERFECT. The break bell is ringing and i gotta go get me something to eat! oxox |
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| greetings |
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| 06:53pm 27/05/2006 |
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mood: anxious music: 7 a.m-incubus
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me and lar are still dateing. its been a good 6 months. i love it. i've spent almost every single day with him during the 6 months we've been together except for like these past 2 days lol cuz he hadda go to hattiesburg to record. but i've been a good girl and i havent done NOTHING wrong for us to argue ;D he gotta play at this bar called slippery nicks in gulfport tonite. i was supposed to be going but... mr. steve talked to the guy at slip nick and he said they aren't letting anyone under 21 get in tonite bc like the harley davidson people are going to be there and this and that and the other. we were both pretty pissed about it. but its cool. there will be other shows and soon ill be getting my own i.d! just 6 more months to go baby and ill be the big 1-8! i cant wait. but anywho i gtg and call lar. |
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| Mardi Gras '06 |
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| 04:35pm 04/03/2006 |
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mood: tired music: larrys amp
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My mardi gras was great. I went to alot of different parades the week of mardi gras and when phat tues rolled around.. me, lauren, and chanda went to downtown mobile. It was so much fun. We chugged a whole bottle of parrot bay on the way there and drank the rest at the parades. Christy Golden and her whole crew showed up and I stayed away from them. She attacked me from behind and I got arrested. So did she.. but the whole thing was bullshit. She is really immature for even trynna to start a damn fight wit me.it wasn't even a real fight. All she did was sneak attack me from behind like a pussy and we were down on the ground. But anywho.. my dad hadda come pick me up from the juvenille station. I wouldn't have taken back going to the mardi gras parades in mobile though. I had the best time of my life. Thats all I have time for now.
-i love larry bond |
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| 04:52pm 31/01/2006 |
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mood: content music: Nothing
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well, well, well.. I have a new hobby now.. I feel like I have a whole brand new life. Everything has gotten either alot better or alot worse. Me and Katlin have lost the best friend fever. I have new classes now in school and it sucks.. ass. classes are alot easier but I hate all of my classes. 1st block-spanish 2- it's straight.. cus i like spanish and the teacher is awesome plus it's hella easy, but there's just noone to talk to in there. gah it sucks.. such a great class and a big waste. 2nd block is alg 2 with erik stokes to the right of me and becky roberts to the left.. the only other person in that class that is actually an upperclassman is jared law.. it sucks. there is NOONE in there. a bunch of sophmores and a set of triplets. it's kinda weird.. 3rd block is mythology.. it's not TOO bad.. i'd much rather be in magee's class though.. and of course there's the last and final block of the day, desktop publishing with mrs. fredrick. Not to mention it is on the VERY last hall in the entire school.. FURTHEREST away from the library, the cafeteria, the bathrooms, MY LOCKER and most importantly MY VEHICLE in the CAGE. It really is an ass.. Chanda came to thunders wi us sat night. it was fun.. her and jay looked like they were having a great time on the dancefloor, but shh.. i'm not gonna say anything about it. The weekend before that Looking 4 Juice put on there best show ever at the cell block in Mobile.. It was SO good. I really enjoyed watching them and watching HIM.. (Larry). Wow. Larry has taken me on a crazy ride. I've learned ALOT about him, about life, about different people, and most importantly.. Me. I've realized that I have changed a whole lot. We never argue over little things anymore UNLESS of course he starts complaining or thinking something is a big deal when really it's not then we start arguing over how I always wanna drop it and he wants to egg it on. It's like i'm a totally different person now, but I have never been in a relationship/friendship thing where I get along with a person so well. I like that alot about us. I like how we aren't really labeled but we both know exactly wat we want. He has became a very important person in my life and I really am thankful. Oh yeah.. I quit mcdonalds. Yeah.. well the hours sucked.. and since me and katlin aren't friends anymore then I just firgured I would quit and just find me another job. I hate change but fuck it. lol me and chanda just tried rolling out first J and it didn't work.. AT ALL. she spilt it ALL down her pants and on her shirt. there was weed everywhere.. It's something that I will never forget and We will have to put in our scrapbook full of memories along with the whole "7th grade bullshit when she was in-love with scottie and I thought brad bingham was a dime" promise. The things we do when we are kids. haha o well. I am gonna make a long post short. cya
-shell |
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| Larrys beating his meat |
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| 05:06pm 08/01/2006 |
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This is my journal. i'm at larrys right now.. jang a lang is trynna to piss off larry. wat an ass. he's pissing me off. i just wanted to update and let ya know that i haven't forgot about u.. ox ox
-hopefully i will have more time to type.
*shel |
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| Happy New Years |
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| 05:16pm 31/12/2005 |
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mood: weird music: nothing
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well well well im back home. wat a fucking waste of time. i got away for one whole month. big whooptee doo. im ready to leave again. i hate living here. i don't have a cell phone right now BC my gay ass "grandpa" or watever the fuck he is had it turned off bc i went "over my minutes" when im the one paying the goddamn bill. wat a retard. this past week.. me and larry have really gotten alot closer. i guess u could say we're "serious" now. he finally opened his eyes and saw that i really wanted a chance and he gave me one. thank god. i like him a whole lot.. and it's a good feeling. i love spending time with him and hanging around him. he's fun. JUST LIKE ME! ;D Thunders was GREAT the other night. L4J put on an awesome show, just like they ALWAYS do =D and i was up front with my camera taking as many pictures as i could and scream as loud as my body would let me. i love watching them perform. i spent the night wi larry that night. good times good times. my christmas this year was straight. me and my dad went to my sisters (sharon) and ate..and then i went wi kate to her grandmas to play dirty santa. That night me and larry hung out and had an awesome time. Oh yeah and by the way i've lost my job at mcdonalds and now i have it back. shirill just can't get rid of me that easy! haha. it's new years. im ready to get drunk. <3
-shell |
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| My Bday! |
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| 03:23pm 19/12/2005 |
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mood: happy music: its my party
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Today i am seventeen! IM SO EXCITED. i love birthdays. so far ive went to the mall wit kate and paige mallett and then me and my dad went and ate at rubys. i went to mcdonalds to see my schedule and i put a safety pin on and i got 10 dollars in 10 seconds. i love it!! im a dickersons right now wi kaylon trynna to get everyone up so we can go purchase some beer, pick some people up and get smashed. its my birthday and im gonna do it right. i've been doing good since i've moved out. i bought alot of new stuff at the mall today. but im fina ta go. caleb gotta call him brother. love ya
-Birthday Girl |
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| My dearest journal |
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| 03:05am 04/12/2005 |
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mood: scared music: the sound of silence.
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ive given up. i just can't get along with her. i'm over all the bullshit and the way she treats me.. i've gotta do something.. that's why i've decided to move out. fri night i came home.. and i wasn't even late. As soon as i walked in the door she asked for my cell. I gave it to her. she grabbed a hammer and smashed it into little pieces. the drinking turns her into this madwoman that i just can't take. i've been putting up with the drinking since I was about 11 years old. I remember turning 13 and thinking to myself.. only 6 more years and i can leave.. i'll be 18 and im moving out. That was 5 years ago and for some reason.. this ONE year feels like its SO close but its SO far away and i LITERALLY cannot do it any longer. I have to get away from her. she treats me like dirt and disowns me. she calls me a whore and a bitch. she doesn't ever tell me she loves me. she's evil.. and wats sad is every single bit of this is so true and i'm not exaggerating any. chase saw the bad side of her. she would always embarrass me and treat me like shit in front of him. he always told me he would be there for me about her bc he KNEW wat she did and does is so wrong.. but Right now im turning to my friends. i need them more than anything right now. this morning i went into work. i went straight to shirills office and started crying. I told her how much i hated my mom and something hadda be done. we talked and she gave me advice. she told me i needed to talk to my dad about it. my dad came to mcdonalds this morning, unexpected. i walked outside and cryed to him. I told him we needed to talk serious bc its gotten to the point where i dont wanna go back home and i dont think i can try anymore with her. he didnt say much about it. he just kinda listened and thought to himself. i thought he wasn't gonna do anything cuz well.. thats just how my dad is. he's scared of my mom just like i am. Tonight i went to the mall with britt and her mama after work. I didn't care. i didn't call my mom to tell her anything. fuck her. i came home and the doors were locked. she was awake and sitting arm length from the door.. and when i asked for her to open it, KNOWING SHE COULD HEAR ME, she didn't even look my way. my little brother was sitting on the couch and i said open the door.. and he said i dont feel like getting up. my mom has him so goddamn brainwashed. he's a little bastard. i went back to my car, got my keys, unlocked the door, and went straight to sleep. she didn't say one word to me. thank fucking Jesus Christ. My dad woke me up around 1.. he told me he was leaving. Immediatley i woke up.. i was like where u going, when? and he said to uncle dannys.. tomo morning.. and i said daddy plz dont leave me here. and he said that i needed to stay here. and that he needs to go. i told him NO im not staying. and that if he leaves me i will NEVER forgive him. i told him waht she did to me about locking me outta my own damn house and he knows she treats me wrong. he KNOWS it. he told me i could leave. he asked me who i was gonna stay with, cuz danny doesn't have room. i told him benita kay, or katlin, farrah, or shirill. i have places.. he gave me permission.. and me and him both started packing up our shit and taking it out to our vehicles. i have all my clothes, pictures, tv, makeup,etc in my car. i took a bath and am getting ready to leave in the morning. imma wake up at 8.. get ready for work and go to work. after work ill go to katlins or whoevers.. and just go from there. i love my dad SO much. with everything i have. he understands and i love him so much for that. he's such a good person and he has the best heart ever. fuck my mom. all she has ever done is tried to make things hard on me. she has always treated me like the dirt on the bottom of her shoe and fredrick like a king on a throne. he'll be just fine with mama. i'm sure she will give him everything he wants with all the money she's gonna have when my dad leaves her. she doesn't even have a fucking job. i hate her. i hate wat shes done to me. theres been so many nights where i have went to my room and cried myself to sleep just bc of the things she has said to me. I never wanna come back home. i'm ready to ride out. she's crazy. she's got a fucking mental illness problem or some shit cause not everyone gets like her when tehy drink alcohol. im gonna work extra hard at mcdonalds, im gonna work extra hard in school. i'm gonna make it without her help and prove to her that I AM SOMEONE. im gonna make my dad happy and let him know he raised me right. im gonna do my best and give it my all. i have NO idea when i'll type again.. i'll try my best to keep my journal posted. i love typing in it.. it relieves so much stress. i need to get some sleep.. i gotta get up in about 4 or 5 hours. wish me luck.
.michelle scott |
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| ive been drinking alot. |
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| 08:58pm 28/11/2005 |
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mood: drained music: dashboard-she talks to angels
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i drank 2 whole bottles of gatorade today. i rarely drink alot of liquids and i've been downing them here lately. today was larry's bday. he's 19. what a grandpa. i called him this morning and wished him a happy bday. i got to school late, as usual and hadda park in the cage <- unusual. i hardly ever park in the cage. it was rainy and wet and gloomy. i lovee mornings like that. i had on my blue rainjacket pullover and the hood over my head. i dont care wat ppl think. i went to school, god it was gay. i had a hella lotta homework and makeup work i hadda do. I took spencer home jus like i do everyday, and i came directly home. i came inside, grabbed me like 4 chimichangas that my mom had made and some mexican soup, and rode out. i went straight to shirills and 2 minutes after i walked in, lundy walked in the house. i did homework from like 4 till 6. the shirill came home, dropped off libby and leslie, thank goodness leslie was sleeping, and she went to the gym. i helped lundy wi homework and libby drew on the counter =O man i went pyscho. thankfully i got it off and u can't even tell heh ;D. shirill got back at like 7 and brought me some groceries. she brought me my favorites, reeses cups, reeses cookies, choclate chip cookies, frosted flakes, and PICKLES! yaye. i left around 720, went to mcdees and got my check.. 185.. how pathetic. shirill is paying me 60 a week to watch the kids. thats really not that bad. i left mcdees, and came straight home. vaccumed, cleaned my room, folded clothes, took a shower and ta-da now im here. tomo is gonna be the same way, disregard the going to mcdonalds and picking up my check and add in watching tv =D wed will be like tues, thursdays i will probably just sit at home, and fridays.. its the weekend. sat and sundays work at mcdonalds from 6-2 like everyother sat and sunday. it's a routine.. and i can do routines.. their not too bad.. Anywho.. since today was larry's bday i figured i woulda gotten to see him.. but i didnt. what a suprise.. but i guess im about to go lay down and get some sleep. and o yea.. i weighed myself again today at shirills bc i knew i was drunk last time i weighed myself and i was HOPING i had made it up in my head or summing when it said 134.. but YES.. it's true. 134 or pure brown mexican fat on my body and I AM NOT HAPPY ABOUT IT. i'm kinda depressed. cya. |
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| survey cuz im so bored |
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| 12:49pm 27/11/2005 |
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mood: crappy music: l4j-so blue
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| ultimate myspace survey! | | YOU YOU YOU... | | Full Name:: | Michelle America Scott | | Nicknames:: | shell, shelly, mexican, dirty mexican | | Birthplace:: | singing river hospital | | DOB:: | | | Hair Color:: | dark brown | | Eye Color:: | dark brown | | Screenname:: | Dreamer | | Favorites... | | Color:: | every color. i dont really have a favorite. | | Movie(s):: | lotr,ever after,notebook,the ring,ammityville horror,jerry maguire,girl interrupted,where the heart is, etc. | | Song(s):: | anything on jagged little pill cd. | | Band(s):: | L4J baby ;D | | Day of the year:: | Phat Tuesday | | Food:: | Cheese dip | | Sport:: | football. i don't play sports. | | Store:: | A&F or hollister. | | Actor:: | Ashton Kutcher, or Sean William Scott. | | Actress:: | Angelina Jolie | | Vacation Spot:: | river. | | Season:: | spring is nice. | | Restaurant:: | anything mexican, and i love red lobster. yum | | Do you prefer... | | coke/pepsi:: | neither | | chocolate/vanilla:: | both | | dogs/cats:: | dogs | | 1percent/2percent milk:: | doesn't matter bc i hate milk. | | black/white:: | black | | sing/dance:: | sing and dance | | rock/rap:: | rock | | Love stuff... | | Are you single?: | yes | | If so, do you have someone in mind?: | yes | | Who?: | larry | | What personality traits do you look for in the opposite sex?: | tall, can make me laugh, really sweet, not cheesy ;x i hate that, random is good, suprises are great =D, really nice smile, can take good pictures. | | What's the first thing you notice(physically) about them?: | their face? | | Would you prefer a good or bad boy/girl?: | in between. | | Have you kissed someone?: | yeh | | Have you ever been in love?: | yes.once. | | Have you had your heart broken?: | yes.once. | | Other stuff... | | Have you gone skinny-dipping?: | yes | | Have you ever been out of the country?: | yah. i've been outta the U.S. - Mexico, biatch. | | Do you believe in god?: | yah | | Do you believe in yourself?: | yep | | Do you want to get married?: | yep | | Do you play any sports?: | na | | What was the last phone number you dialed?: | 990-7963 | | Do you have a best friend?: | yes. i have 5. kate, fa, britt, ash, and kaylon. | | Have you ever wanted to die?: | god yes | | Have you seen someone die?: | nope | | Have you gone swimming in an ocean?: | In the gulf of mexico! | | Have you ever cried in public?: | yes | | What is your worst fear?: | to be alone. | | How long does it take you to shower?: | like ten or fifteen. | | What was the last movie you saw in the theater?: | derailed wit ward. | | What was the last movie you rented?: | diary of mad black woman. | | Do you have a favorite quote?: | not really | | Do you have any regrets?: | yes. everyone has regrets. | Take this survey | Find more surveys
You've been totally Bzoink*d |
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| L4J makes me HOTT! ;D |
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| 05:24pm 26/11/2005 |
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mood: excited music: natalia imbruglia-torn
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last night i got all fixed up and went and got my alcohol from my hermano (brother in spanish = kaylon damazio ) at food tiger. he's the best <3 then i called michael ward and went and ate some waffle house. yum yum. after that i went to lightseys and dropped off wards beer then went and met up wi larry. We were arguing over stupid shit ;x and then he hadda phone call. im not sure who it was but i understood wat they were talking about. 'smoking that purple.' right then i just got so aggravated. i saved him the trouble of telling me to get outta his truck so he could go smoke, by telling him im leaving and got out of the truck myself. He didn't argue so my feelings were hurt. about thirty min later he called and wanted to meet up again. like a little bitch that i am.. i did. i do have a weakness and it is that i do care too much. its horrible. ;| i met up wi him around 830 and stayed with him till like 1130.. i came home went to sleep and woke up to a phone call from my boss telling me i gotta be at work in 5 minutes! i got ready so quick, dived in my car, and hauled ass to katlins to borrow some shoes bc i had lost mine. later on today at work i found them! come to find out i left them at britts YAYE! i went to the skating rink after work to see britt then went to her house and got my shoes. i came home, took a nap, and was woken up by a phone call from larry. i cant stand being woken up. i got super pissed. he informed me that christy golden was coming to thunders tonight. yippee fucking do. i hate that bitch with everything i have. i love hanging out at moss point and with all those fun people like james,larry,church,the band,britt,cheryl,jo,whit all them bc they are cool as hell. i can be myself and not have to worry about them running back to my school and spreading rumors around about me. and NOW that christy is gonna be there tonight im sure she is gonna be eyeballing me watching every single goddamn move i make so she can run back to school and tell everyone i gave green a lap dance ;P haha such a bitch. On top of that, she better not bring her damn brother with her. AH that'll be the day. he'll get to see me drunk and sloppy. man he will really hate me then >;D i gotta get ready for tonight. and OOO i gotta wash clothes! ox keep ya posted. |
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| fridays.. lovely fridays. |
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| 03:29pm 25/11/2005 |
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mood: bored music: the cranberries.
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woke up, got dressed, went to wal mart turned my pics in, chik-fil-a, mall, wal mart, then home. What a day. i'm pooped. i got my pictures developed and MAN i love getting pictures developed! me and larry took a really REALLY good picture. i love it! i got doubles and of course imma give him one. he better take care of it >;\ or ELSE. i have NO plans for tonight. i'm such a loser. ward is going to lightseys to drink and fire. he asked me to come. i might. i just might. Not too sure yet. i didnt purchase anything from the mall today bc i am broke ;[ i really hope i find summ to do tonight. i dont wanna sit at home on another friday night..
-chelle |
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| turkey day. |
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| 12:26pm 24/11/2005 |
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mood: hung the fuck over >:| music: custom-hey mister
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hmm.. tues i worked during the day, then went to britts. We then went to the band with fa.. and back to britts. we took the focus (a piece) to my house got clothes and went to wm to get some lip stuff thats suppose to make ur lips bigger lol. we went to britts and got ready for EC basketball game. church and john came, green bailed out on us. wat a loser. jus playing. anywho we went and i couldn't get it. the cop told us to leave lol how gay. we were pissed haha then we went to jamie's.. and it was me, moak, church, john, jamie, benji, and kevin. we watched a movie then we went to mcdonalds. i hate mcdonalds but britt wanted to go so we went. we stayed there for like 2 hours. god it sucked. the cheerleaders showed up and i left i hate them bitches. i hope they all rot in hell. and i aint kidding >;D. i went to britts and then walked over to james to see larry.. we talked for like 5 minutes and we jus kissed eachother on the cheek and i went home. Yeserday was a day.. i puked 5 different times. it was horrible. i went to drews and before it was night time.. i was already gone. i drank like 9 beers in 1 hour. i shoulda slowed down. my body couldn't hold all of it. we went over to the marbles and i saw brent for a second. i remember embarrassing myself so bad. then we went to ruby tues to get my alanis cd from josh i needed it lol then we went back to drews and thats when i puked. i was in the backseat with jusin newman and i was feeling SO sick. so when we pulled up at drews i was about to puke and i KNEW it. justin helped me outta the car and held my hair outta my face. i love him so much for that. i went upstairs and he laid me down in drews room. i layed in there for the rest of the time i was there and i stayed till 10. i puked 2 other times while i was there.. it sucked so bad. then larry called me and i went to lassister to see him.. i like him alot. and i dont know why. it's just something about him.. i hate it that he smokes but i love being around him. i think imma go to band prac. tonight. ;D i love band practice. i love watching larry play. i was gonna go to the mall today and get some clothes but they closed.. i'm going tomo. they gonna have a sale ;] yaye!
This thanksgiving is a hella lot different than last year.. i was so sad last night when i was cutting up the stuff for the dressing when i got home.. i was so drunk and so close to textn chase and just saying.. " remember when we cut up all the veggies together last year for the dressing, and my mom got so pissed when we didnt cut the seeds outta the bell pepper? lol well.. this year i remembered.. i learned from my mistakes and i remembered.. " but THANK god i didn't.. he would've thought i was freaking psycho. kate and fa told me NO and i said OKAY OKAY im not. i gotta get a grip. so i did watever i could to stop thinkin about him. i'm pathetic. Last year we were together right now, at this time. i remember we got into an argument bc he hadda go to his camp wi his family and leave.. i went to his house that night though.. this year imma be wit larry and the band. i can't believe that everything has changed THIS much. i would've never thought 6 months ago that this thanksgiving i would be without him. but u know wat? time goes on. so watever. I am excited about being with larry. and ya know? i really do like him.. i really do. i haven't like anyone this fast this much since the first time i met chase. i could actually see myself being with larry for a long time. he's already someone special to me.. i do think about him all the time, even more when im drunk. he makes me smile and makes me laugh. i love being around him and i love it when he holds my hand and touches my face. he's a great guy. so out with the old and in with the new. larry is a good change. i gotta live with it. i won't ever forget the past but i can move forward and thats wat im doing. Oh yeah and i've gained 15 pounds from working at mcdonalds. im gaining weight and im gaining it quick. it's not good and i needa lose it. i gotta go.. my comp is fxckin up. -oxox
*see ya tonight greeny! |
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| ;o |
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| 12:25am 21/11/2005 |
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mood: uncomfortable music: stuck on you-lionel richie
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i got suspened. BUT before you get the wrong idea and think i've sinned and blah blah, it was NOT my fault. that bitch grabbed me by my throat. wat did you expect for me to do? just let her touch me like that? i dont even care. she can go to hell ;x anyways the only bad thing that i got outt of it was i really did ruin things with chase now. i called him last weekend, it was a friday night when i was on my way to greens and had a couple of beers and asked for a friendship. he agreed and i was really excited and happy about it, but now that i beat up his gf he really won't ever talk to me again now. i fucked up, but oh well. Fuck that and Fuck him. haha he can still "burn in hell" (My exact words i ever said to him when we broke up.) i went to greens last weekend and it kicked ass. i had alotta fun. sat night i watched l4j at the skating rink and they played really good, as they always do ;D im their #1 fan bitches! >;] sunday.. i dont remember wat i did lol the week went by thurs i got suspended i get to make up all my work, the only thing is i cant be exempt, but thats the same thing as being in i.s.i the only difference is im at home! not at school. lol wat faggots. friday i went to the movies with ward. our elbows didnt even touch. I don't even LIKE ward like that. we are just friends, yeah we hooked up ONCE so wat? that doesn't mean shit. i understand why larry would get mad about it though.. but anyway larry spazzed out about it and ended our "talking" thing we had going on. watever. he pissed me off and my feelings were hurt. i had fun, sat i went to rubys with kaylon,zack,and kate. we left at 6 and by 7 we were buzzing and by 8 we were drunk lol we went and ate at rubys and it was so much fun. then we went to dallas's. travis gammill was there. ooo la la. it was great. larry was there too haha. bickham was drunk and he was rubbing on my leg. and for a moment there i think he was trying to spit game. kinda weird. ;\ i was kinda.. confused and scared. anywho, left the party went home, slept. woke up around 12 today. picked up fa and went to watch l4j in ocean springs for a charity event. it was fun. and i hadda blast. I got to watch larry play eventhough we aren't together ;[ but their still awesome. and i got to watch the giglos. i like them alot. but anywho, i'll type later. green is bitchen bc he wants this link and his back hurts. ;\ -shell |
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| well o well |
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| 03:48pm 10/11/2005 |
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mood: okay music: lookin 4 juice-cant wait
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Friday i sat at home. wat a loser. yeah i know.. but i needed the sleep. sat i worked and then i came home, rode wi kate to the flea market, we got new wallets yaye! then chik-fil-a then came home grabbed my clothes and went to fally's. i got ready wi her to go out on our triple date! lol it was so much fun. i drove to larrys and parked my car there, then we went to food tiger to meet up wit fally,derek,emily,and mason. we were suppose to go to carrabas... but there was like an hour and thirty min wait so we went to olive garden. larry paid. it was fun. he showed me attention the entire night and on the way home we listened to music and sang along lol music is a big part of his life well.. bc he is in a band. and i LOVE music. so its straight. we got back to his house and we sat in his truck for the longest time ever and talked about everything and anything. i left around one and came home. i went to sleep around 230 cuz we stayed up on the phone. i woke up at 630 the next morning and went to work. i clocked in at 705 and clocked out at 7:05. i worked a 12 hour shift. but its all good cuz i make 7.10 an hour now ;D. anywho i didnt see larry that night cuz i went straight home and went to sleep. monday i went to ash's to see her and kate and then i left there and went to fa's. we laid around and then made some rotelle dip and ate.. then went to band practice. i watched larry and the band practice and then after we played football and sat on the swing and talked. we sat on the floor in dereks room and he played the guitar for me. he plays so good and i love it so much. i really really do. i left and went home and then tues i worked.. and went home. wed the same. and today i went to school and now im about to leave and go to kates, then prolly fa's.. then we going to the football game in goula. its moss point's last game. im excited. and after im going to see larry after his band practice and after the football game. =D yaye. anywho im finna to ride out so ill write more later-
shell |
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| the weekend has arrived. |
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| 04:00pm 04/11/2005 |
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mood: sleepy music: fallin apart-looking for juice(l4j)
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hey you.
How crazy has life been? i dong even know where to begin. MY FRIENDS are SO supportive. im prolly about to type about the most random stuff.. but im just gonna try to catch up on everything that has happened.. brent came down the night of jon catchots party and i FINALLY got to see him. it was nice. me and justin williams have became really really close.. but then it kinda faded off. chanda rolls now. it sucks. i dont even talk to her anymore. someone rolled and keyd my car.. and im pissed about it. i still work at mcdonalds and i boss everyone around lol. sarah and maddison work there and i hate them. holly and paige work there now too but their straight. me and derek g arent friends anymore. he said he couldnt anymore and the reason was "chase". thats kinda sad. the black light pep rally was today.. it was alright. it was sad. me and larry are getting really close.. but we taking it really slow. i know he likes me, its obvious, and i know i like him but its weird we both havent told eachother.. and from wat we BOTH know we are "JUST FRIENDS". and UNTIL he says something about "talking" or anything then thats wat we will continue being. hes taking me out to eat tomo night to carrabas. me,larry,fa,derek,mason,and emily. im excited. i went to thunders last sat night to watch larry play and i had a great time. i think thats why im so attracted to him. he really doesnt care wat other people think. i mean sometimes the things he wears im like larry.. really.. hes like man michelle i dont care wat people think and that is hott to me. hes got a really good personality and we talk ALL the time on text. we see eachother ALL the time. he put the l4j sticker on the back of my car the other night and said he was happy i was finally supporting the cause lol and i was like well i guess this means ill have to come watch you play ALL the time now and he was like GOOD! cuz i want you there. we both give eachother space. i asked him last night if he was still in love wi paige and he said michelle i really dont like talking about her and i asked him again and he said i really am not sure if i still am or not.. and i was like OKay.. well I understand and i cant get mad or jealous about that bc i am going through the same damn thing. he said it just kinda hurts to talk about paige and i totally understood that. so i left it alone. but its straight.. im not looking for love, im not really looking for anything. im over it ya know? i hate talking about this shit and i always end up talking about it lol ANYWAYS last fri night i went to the moss point game to watch britt cheer. it was fun and tonight im going to the moss point game again. sat night when i went to thunders travis was with kristina goff and i was SO shady to him.. i was like watever. and gerald was like just dont even pay attention to that i was like im not. dont worry. me and farrah got ready together to go and farrah had the cutest costume. earlier that day me fa and mrs julie went to mobile to find me a french maid costume haha i had so much fun. i love dancing and just being fun. i failed one of my classes.. i guess bc i just kinda stopped caring but YOU JUST WAIT TILL THIS NEXT 9 WEEKS. i am gonna have straight a's. larry was #5 in his class when he grad. hes freaking smart. i like it but anyway ill write to you later. i gotta go take a nap im bout to fall asleep. oxox.
-shella |
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